Raelyn's Birthday
Raelyn Augustine Wessel was born Monday, May 22, 2023 at 4:58 AM in Kalispell. She weighed 6 lb 15 oz and measured 20 inches long. She is our second child after Ryker.
The pregnancy proceeded nominally. Raelyn's due date was June 1st. We took a babymoon in Las Vegas a month before. Raelyn arrived 10 days early, like her brother.
Monika gave birth at home with the assistance of Fern Creek Midwives.
Birth
Monika had begun prodromal labor (false labor) off-and-on a few days earlier. The contractions became constant, but did not progress, a little over two days before true labor. Monika was exhausted when, in the wee hours of the morning, her water broke, just like with Ryker. The contractions accelerated rapidly.
Monika telephoned the midwife but, after a couple of words, it was clear that Monika was too preoccupied to speak. She handed the phone to me. The midwife agreed that it sounded like Raelyn was coming quickly. She gave us a few directions and told us she'd come as soon as possible.
I settled Monika in as well as may be. This was half of a first for us; Ryker was delivered by caesarian section. I busied myself getting everything in order. We were prepared but there were a few last minute things: turn on porchlight, clear nightstands, fill water bottles, hook the hose up to the showerhead, lay out the supplies.
Contractions were closing in so we were greatly relieved when Carrie arrived. She took stock of things. She started Monika on IV penicillin which she hung from a curtain rod. She inflated the birthing tub.
The cycle went like this: Monika squeezed my arm like a vice. Once the contraction passed, I gave her a sip of water from her Camelbak bottle like her cornerman. Then there was a down minute where I could fetch something, or Monika or Carrie could say something.
Caley, the other midwife, arrived. Now one of the midwives could always pay attention to Monika instead of multitasking. The room became hot and humid as steam rose from the birthing tub and 4 people labored, one more than the others.
After just a few minutes, the intensity ratcheted up another final notch. Raelyn was coming so quickly that there was no time for the birthing tub. Monika let forth primal, guttural cries. Milestones flew by every contraction: full dilation, crowning, descending, an inch, another inch, the head, the shoulders and there Raelyn was.
The speed was another cinematic experience, like a camera cut. I say “another” in reference to Ryker's first cry. These moments surprised me because they were as advertised: as someone naive might expect after watching movies. Life is so rarely like that. It's normally muddled and protracted and mostly left on the editing room floor. It was not so for the birth of my children. The moments tumbled over each other like an avalanche.
Recovery
Monika was able to immediately hold Raelyn. Holding newborn Raelyn was an analgesic better than fentanyl. The situation was far better than when Ryker was born. Then, Monika had shaken too violently from the shock of surgery and withdrawal from anesthesia. Monika immediately breastfed Raelyn (so I didn't have to). I held Raelyn for a while then went downstairs to the kitchen to make breakfast.
It seemed like it was all over and everything had gone off violently yet smoothly. However, there was a complication. Monika had suffered a tear. Carrie was confident that she could suture it. However, the more she examined the injury, the more concerned she became. She concluded that it was too severe to suture at home. Monika would need to visit the hospital. Carrie made the arrangements.
I stayed home with Raelyn. Monika was supposed to be in and out. With luck, Monika would return before Raelyn woke up from her first nap. There was no such luck. Hours passed due to hospital bureaucracy. Raelyn woke up hungry. I once again found myself called to a duty I could not fulfill. Ryker woke up hungry, too, and we all wished for an extra pair of hands. Those were long minutes, a great many very long minutes.
Monika finally returned around noon. She had had her own tribulation. In order to get back to Raelyn more quickly, she had opted out of general anesthesia. The ordeal faded quickly from her mind. Post-birth amnesia/compartmentalization is real. We were exhausted but relieved to be back at the correct posts. Raelyn was with Mama, Mama was with Raelyn and I reprised my role as short order cook.
Brother
Ryker stayed in his room through the whole delivery. I think that was our karmic mercy for delivering Raelyn in the middle of the night. I assumed that he had slept through everything. I learned later that he had heard noises but stayed put. Ryker was used to Mama greeting him in the morning with a cup of milk. As that failed to materialize, he wandered out and found me and Raelyn.
Ryker was interested but not surprised to meet his sister. We had informed him that a baby was growing inside Mama's belly for a lifetime. He had participated in assembling the bassinet and other preparations.
The fear of all is that the new baby will suck up all resources and attention. That is healthy, to a point. It prevents “only child syndrome.” Too much is neglect and cause for resentment. Caring for newborn Ryker had been so totalizing that we worried about repeating that experience with the added burden of a 4-year-old. We were haler 4 years earlier, baby faces fat on sleep, before Covid and a couple of personal sorrows. We were beginning this race out-of-breath after the previous race.
Fortunately, Ryker had turned a corner on his 4th birthday in January. He became a step-level more independent. One rarely recognizes a turning point when it happens. We started to realize it on our trip to Las Vegas in May and more and more every day since.
Ryker has been a good brother. He has been enthusiastic to help where he can. There are frustrating days but there hasn't been even one attempted murder.
Epilogue
The doctors did their job well. Monika has completely recovered.
It has taken me over a year to get this journal entry uploaded. It's currently August. I finished the text last October. Raelyn was born in May, for crying out loud (she often does)! I just didn't get around to the photographs until now.
The word I'd like to share today is cumulative, as in, “The exhaustion caused by raising children is cumulative.” Yes, they bring joys, but how often does one complete a REM cycle? About 2,000 days into this journey, it takes me a little longer to get around to things.
